Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids..but I have days where I fantasize that I’m living on an island, sipping a daiquiri without a care or responsibility in the world. And yes, sometimes I have to remind myself to enjoy them now, because all too soon they will be gone. Sad stuff.
So here is a list of my pros and cons of having children. If you are a parent, you’ll probably be able to relate to this:
- I have minions. Super cheap household labor. Except that I have to feed them once in a while or they get pissy.
- Having kids makes for great memories. Document these memories for when they are getting married so you can totally embarrass them at their wedding!
- You will learn to be patience and how to practice restraint. It is illegal to sell your children, no matter how much you might want to.
- Unconditional love. And you can share it with your family – dirty diaper? Go see Grandma! Colicky? Go see Daddy!
- Once your head hits the pillow at night you will sleep like a baby (except for 2 a.m. feedings, nightmares, and the occasional “accident”). Trust me on this, keeping up with your kids all day is better than taking sleeping pills.
- You never, ever get to use the bathroom by yourself. If they’re not in the actual room with you, their noses are pressed to the crack in the door or their fingers are reaching underneath, like that scene out of the movie “Signs”.
- Family vacations are either the complete and total opposite of a ‘vacation’ or they are non-existent. For about 2 decades. Have fun with that.
- You used to have money in your bank account, didn’t you? Not anymore!
- They will absolutely despise what you cooked for dinner. Until tomorrow, when they cry because they can’t have what you cooked for dinner the night before.
- Eventually they will become teenagers. Then you will be dumber than toast until they are into their 20’s. At which point they will admit that you had it right. Some of the time anyway.
There is a silver lining for all the lovely parents out there though…one day your children will have children of their own. Do like I plan to do and spoil the crap out of the grandkids every time you see them..revenge is sweet. 😉